"Yippie-kye-ay, Mister Falcon!" And Other EDITED FOR TV favorites

“This town is like a great big chicken just waitin’ to get plucked.”

– Tony Montana (Al Pacino) from the edited for television edit of SCARFACE (1983) *

* If you need to know the original line email the address below

Usually I avoid when movies are shown on broadcast television because they’re edited-for-time full-screen versions – I mean it’s almost like they don’t count. But sometimes when I come upon a movie I like when changing channels I’ve found they are sometimes worth watching for the re-dubbing of profane lines. SCARFACE above, and THE EXORCIST are famous for their creative hilarious for-all-audiences re-toolings. Not content to just use ‘freak’ or ‘freaking’ the censors picked every other f-word (frozen, fruitful, foolish, etc.) in the dictionary to cover all the ‘fucks’ in a recent airing of FARGO. It’s quite a different movie when you see Steve Buscemi yelling “you foolish people!” after being shot in the face you know?

These are some other funny examples :


Original line : “You see what happens Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass?”
– Walter (John Goodman)

Edited line : “You see what happens Larry when you find a stranger in the Alps?”

also :

“This is what happens when you pump a stranger’s gas!”


“What the frog?”

– Barry (Jack Black)


“Froggin’ ashpole”
– Ted (Ben Stiller) to Pat (Matt Dillon)

PLATOON (1986)

“Come on maggot farmer, move!”
– Pvt. Chris Taylor (Charlie Sheen)


Original Line : “How’d you get that scar? Eating pussy?”
– Immigration Officer (Garnett Smith)

Edited Line : “how’d you get that scar? Eating Pineapple?” (also “pudding”)


Original Line : “Hand me the keys you fucking cock sucker”
– spoken by all 5 suspects (Kevin Pollack, Stephen Baldwin, Benicio Del Toro, Gabriel Byrne, and Kevin Spacey) in the police line up.

Edited Line : “Hand me the keys you fairy godmother.”

DIE HARD (1988)

Original Line : “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”
– John McClane (Bruce Willis)

Edited Line : “Yippie-kye-ay, Mister Falcon!”


2 lines both spoken by one of the candidates for MAN OF THE YEAR 2006 – Mel Gibson as lovable suicidal cop Martin Riggs :

“We bury the funsters!”
“I’m a real cop, this is a real badge and this is a real firing gun!”


Original Line : “You’re a fuckin’ mumblin’, stutterin’ little fuck”
Tommy (Joe Pesci)

Edited Line : “You’re a friggin’ mumblin’, stutterin’ little fink.”


Original Line: “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!”-
Regan (Linda Blair) possessed by Pazuzu (voice – Mercedes MacCambridge)

Edited Line: “Your mother sews socks that smell!”


Original Line : “I got my eyes wide fuckin’ open!”
– Jules (Samuel L. Jackson)

Edited Line : “I got my eyes wide focused open!”

ROBOCOP (1987)

“You’re gonna be a real mothercrasher!”
– Bob Morton (Miguel Ferrer)

Send your favorite ‘edited for TV’ lines to :


So if Peter O’Toole was pulled over and arrested for drunk driving would his mug shot look an better or worse than the poster for his latest film?


All I want to know about this movie is –

does it have a montage?

More later…

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