100 Years, 100 Better Quotes

The American Film Institute just unveiled another mighty list – this one is of 100 movie quotes :

AFI’S 100 YEARS, 100 MOVIE QUOTES

Thinking that many of the lines while great are too obvious we here at film babble compiled an alternate list. Some lines come from the same movies, some are more profane but all are ones we cherish more than the AFI’s precious official annointing. Enjoy!

FILM BABBLE BLOG’S 100 YEARS, 100 BETTER QUOTES

1. Girl : “What’re you rebelling against, Johnny?”
Johnny Strabbler (Marlon Brando) : “Whaddya got?”
THE WILD ONE (1953) Can’t believe this didn’t make the AFI’s list! Heh – losers.

2. “My teenage angst now has a body count” – Veronica Sawyer (Winnona Ryder) HEATHERS 1989

3. “Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks just yet.” – The Wolf (Harvey Keitel) PULP FICTION 1994


4. “You aren’t too bright. I like that in a man. ” – Matty (Kathleen Turner) BODY HEAT 1981

5. “We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter.” – H.I. (Nicolas Cage) RAISING ARIZONA 1987

6. “Into the mud, scum queen!” – Dr. Hfuhruhurr (Steve Martin) THE MAN WITH TWO BRAINS 1982

7. “I don’t know, I’m making this up as I go. ” – Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK 1981

8. “Mother! Oh God, mother! Blood! Blood!” – Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) PYSCHO 1960

9. “But, I’m funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you?” – Tommy (Joe Pesci) GOODFELLAS 1990

10. “Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love – they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.” – Harry Lime (Orson Welles) THE THIRD MAN 1949

11. “I’ll show you a life of the mind!” – Charlie Meadows (John Goodman) BARTON FINK 1991

12. “These go to eleven” – Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) THIS IS SPINAL TAP 1984

13. “All I’m saying is that if I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life – remind me to kill myself.” – Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd (Jason London) DAZED AND CONFUSED 1993

14. “One of us, one of us!” – A freak from FREAKS 1932

15. “Who did the president, who killed Kennedy, fuck man! It’s a mystery! It’s a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! The fuckin’ shooters don’t even know! Don’t you get it?” – David Ferrie (Joe Pesci) JFK 1991

16. “His brain has not only been washed, as they say… It has been dry cleaned.” Dr. Yen Lo (Khigh Dheigh) THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE 1960

17. “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.” – Lloyd Dobbler (John Cusack) SAY ANYTHING 1988

18. “Oh please, if everyone around here is going to start telling the truth, I’m going to bed.”
Jackie O. (PARKER POSEY) HOUSE OF YES

19. “Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.” – Fletch (Chevy Chase) FLETCH 1985

20. ” I’m a goddamn marvel of modern science.” – McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST 1975

21. ” Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin’ Eagles, man!” – The Dude (Jeff Bridges) THE BIG LEBOWSKI 1998

22. “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words cause permanent damage.” – Barry (Eric Bogosian) TALK RADIO 1988)

23. “I will not be ignored, Dan!” – Alex Forrest (Glenn Close) FATAL ATTRACTION 1987

24. “This is so bad it’s gone from good back to bad again” – Enid (Thora Birch) GHOST WORLD 2001

25. “Why do I hear 50 thousand dollars worth of pyscho-therapy dialing 911?” – Gabe (Woody Allen) HUSBANDS AND WIVES 1992

26. “Well, then, I just HATE you… and I hate your… ass… FACE!” – Corky St. Clair (Christopher Guest) WAITING FOR GUFFMAN 1996

27. “You see, if it bends, it works. If it breaks, it doesn’t work.” – Lester (Alan Alda) CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS 1989


28. “One through nine, no maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can’t travel in space, you can’t go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, uh, with fractions – what are you going to land on – one-quarter, three-eighths? What are you going to do when you go from here to Venus or something? That’s dialectic physics.” – Photojournalist (Dennis Hopper) APOCALYPSE NOW 1979

29. “Don’t call me chicken” – Jim Stark (James Dean) REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE 1955

30. “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” – Dante Hicks (Brian O’Halloran) CLERKS 1994

31. “I’m so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had” – Arthur (Dudley Moore) ARTHUR 1981

32. “So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?” – John Bender (Judd Nelson) THE BREAKFAST CLUB 1985

33. “I am not your problem to solve!” – Alice Green (Meg Ryan) WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN 1994

34. “Why are frogs falling from the sky?” – Phil Parma (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) MAGNOLIA 1999


35. Gonzo (Dave Goelz): “Well, I want to go to Bombay, India to become a movie star.”
Fozzie (Frank Oz) : “You don’t go to Bombay to become a movie star. You go where we’re going, Hollywood. “
Gonzo : “Well, sure, if you want to do it the *easy* way.”
– THE MUPPET MOVIE 1978

36. “If Mike Tyson dreams about whuppin’ my ass , he better wake up and apologize.”
SWEET WILLIE DICK (Robin Harris) DO THE RIGHT THING 1989 – Tarentino used a variation of this line in RESERVOIR DOGS 1992– “You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.” – Mr. White (Harvey Keitel)

37. “I am so glad that I got sober now so I can be hyper-conscious for this series of humiliations.” – Suzanne (Merle Streep) POSTCARDS FROM THE EDGE 1990

38. “Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There’s genocide, war, corruption. Every fucking day, somewhere in the world, somebody sacrifices his life to save someone else. Every fucking day, someone, somewhere makes a conscious decision to destroy someone else. People find love, people lose it. For Christ’s sake, a child watches her mother beaten to death on the steps of a church. Someone goes hungry. Somebody else betrays his best friend for a woman. If you can’t find that stuff in life, then you, my friend, don’t know crap about life. And why the FUCK are you wasting my two precious hours with your movie? I don’t have any use for it. I don’t have any bloody use for it.”
Robert McNee (Brian Cox) ADAPTATION 2001

39. “I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker!” – Budduskey (Jack Nicholson) THE LAST DETAIL 1973

40. “In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.” – Tony Montana (Al Pacino) SCARFACE 1983

41. “Where does he get those wonderful toys?” –The Joker (Jack Nicholson) BATMAN 1989

42. “Come on, fellas. Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Coach Morris Buttermaker (Walter Matthau) “Yeah, it took several hundred years.” -Ogilvie ( Alfred Lutter III)
BAD NEWS BEARS 1976

43. “Harold, *everyone* has the right to make an ass out of themselves. You just can’t let the world judge you too much.”
Maude (Ruth Gordon) HAROLD AND MAUDE 1971

44. “Make like a tree…and get outta here.” – Biff (Thomas F. Wilson) BACK TO THE FUTURE 1985

45. “I’ll bet you’re the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around.” – Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (R. Lee Ermey) FULL METAL JACKET 1986

46. “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.” – Boris (Woody Allen) LOVE AND DEATH

47. “You’re right, I did lose a million dollars last year. I expect to lose a million dollars this year. I expect to lose a million dollars *next* year. You know, Mr. Thatcher, at the rate of a million dollars a year, I’ll have to close this place in… 60 years. – Charles Foster Kane (Orson Welles) CITIZEN KANE 1941

48. “Wouldn’t this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If “needy” were a turn-on?” – Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks) BROADCAST NEWS 1987

49. “Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in.” – Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) GODFATHER PART III – Funny how everyone’s least favorite GODFATHER film has one of the most quoted lines., huh?

50. “You have clearance Clarence, roger Roger, what’s our vector Victor?” – Captain Clarence Oveur (Peter Graves) AIRPLANE! 1980 – You gotta admit this is better than the ‘Shirley’ line.

51. “Only one is a wanderer; two together are always going somewhere.” – Madeleine (Kim Novak) VERTIGO 1958

52. “The first rule of Fight Club is you don’t talk about Fight Club.” – Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) FIGHT CLUB 1999

53. “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me me.” – God (George Burns) OH GOD 1977

54. Sam Burns (John Lithgow) – “You’re a very rude young woman. I know Douglas from the Rotary and I can’t believe he’d want you treating customers so badly.” Checkout Girl : “I don’t think I was treating her badly.” Sam Burns : “Then you must be from New York.” – TERMS OF ENDEARMENT 1983

55. “If you don’t get the President of the United States on that phone, do you know what’s gonna happen to you?…You’re gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company.” – Colonel Bat Guano (Keenen Wynn) DR. STRANGELOVE 1964

56. “I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?” – Tess McGill (Melanie Griffith) WORKING GIRL 1988

57. “That is one nutty hospital.” – Jeff (Bill Murray) TOOTSIE 1982

58. “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way.” – Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner) WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT 1988

59. “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need – roads.” – Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) BACK TO THE FUTURE 1985

60. “He’s got a real purty mouth, ain’t he?” – Toothless Man (Herbert ‘Cowboy’ Howard) DELIVERANCE 1972

61. “They’re not gonna catch us. We’re on a mission from God.” –Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd) THE BLUES BROTHERS 1980

62. “It’s okay with me.” – Philip Marlowe (Elliot Gould) THE LONG GOODBYE 1973

63. “Withdrawing in disgust is not the same as apathy.” – Written on a piece of a paper recited by some dude in SLACKER 1991 – also quoted in R.E.M.’s “What’s The Frequency Kenneth” – “Richard said, Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy”.

64. “Back and to the left.” – Jim Garrison (Kevin Costner) JFK 1991

65. “Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due.” – George Lang (Ricky Jay) THE SPANISH PRISONER 1997

66. “It really tied the room together” – just about everybody in THE BIG LEBOWSKI 1997

67. “What in the wide world of sports is going on here?!!?” – Taggart (Slim Pickens) BLAZZING SADDLES 1974

68. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” – Luke Skywalker(Mark Hamil), Han Solo (Harrison Ford), Obi Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), C-3PO (Anthony Daniels, Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), etc. said in every STAR WARS movie 1977-2005

69. “Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.” – Kitty Farmer (Beth Grant) DONNIE DARKO 2001

70. “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” – Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) THE PRINCESS BRIDE 1987

71. “I believe in the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” – Crash Davis (Kevin Costner) BULL DURHAM 1987

72. “As long as there’s, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.” – Mick Shrimpton (R.J. Parnell) THIS IS SPINAL TAP 1984

73. “Ah Kirk, my old friend. Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space.” – Khan (Ricardo Montalban) STAR TREK II : THE WRATH OF KHAN 1982

74. “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF 1986

75. “I think you’re the opposite of a paranoid. I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.” – Harry Block (Woody Allen) DECONSTRUCTING HARRY 1997

76. “Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!” – Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) GHOSTBUSTERS 1984

77. “Pimps is an ugly word. We could call ourselves love brokers!” – Bill Blazejowski (Michael Keaton) NIGHT SHIFT 1981

78. “Look at me, jerking off in the shower… This will be the high point of my day; it’s all downhill from here.” – Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) AMERICAN BEAUTY 1999

79. “Don’t point that finger at me unless you intend to use it.” – Oscar Madison (Walter Matthau) THE ODD COUPLE 1968

80. “I’d buy that for a dollar!” – Bixby Snyder (S.D. Nemeth) ROBOCOP 1988

81. Superman (Christopher Reeve) : “Is that how a warped brain like yours gets its kicks? By planning the death of innocent people?
Lex Luther (Gene Hackman) : “No, by causing the death of innocent people.”
SUPERMAN : THE MOVIE 1978

82. “Strange game–the only winning move is not to play.” – Joshua (computer) WAR GAMES 1983

83. “This is the most uncomfortable coffin I’ve ever been in” – Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau) ED WOOD 1994

84. “The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” – Verbal (Kevin Spacey) THE USUAL SUSPECTS 1995

85. “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K” – Ted Logan (Keanu Reeves) BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE 1989

86. “I know what you’re thinking: “Did he fire six shots, or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But, being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Do I feel lucky?” Well, do ya punk?” – Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) DIRTY HARRY 1971

87. “It was the classic mother B.B. gun block: “You’ll shoot your eye out.” That deadly phrase uttered many times before by hundreds of mothers, was not surmountable by any means known to kiddom.” – Ralphie (Jean Sheppard) A CHRISTMAS STORY 1983

88. “Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.” – Tree Trimmer (Steven Williams) BETTER OFF DEAD 1985

89. “No, I have to do this my way. You tell me what you know, and I’ll confirm. I’ll keep you in the right direction if I can, but that’s all. Just… follow the money.” – Deep Throat (Hal Holbrook) ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN 1976

90. ” I may go back to hating you. It was more fun.” – Roger (Cary Grant) NORTH BY NORTHWEST 1958

91. “Well, we lost the first game of the season. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. We always lose the first game of the season and the last game of the season. (pause)
AND ALL THOSE STUPID GAMES IN BETWEEN!” – Charlie Brown (Peter Robbins) A BOY NAMED CHARLIE BROWN 1969

92. “Now that I’ve met you, would you object to never seeing me again?” – Claudia Wilson Gator (Melora Walters) MAGNOLIA 1999 – this line was lifted from the Aimee Mann song “Deathly”.

93. “I was just thinking what an interesting concept it is to eliminate the writer from the artistic process. If we could just get rid of these actors and directors, maybe we’ve got something here.” – Griffin Mill (Tim Robbins) THE PLAYER 1992

94. “Can you imagine what this man would be like had anyone ever loved him?” – Henry Kissinger (Paul Sorvino) NIXON 1995

95. “No, if anyone orders Merlot, I’m leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!” – Miles (Paul Giamatti) SIDEWAYS 2004

96. “At this moment, I didn’t feel shame or fear, but just kind of blah, like when you’re sitting there and all the water’s run out of the bathtub.” – Holly (Sissy Spacek) BADLANDS 1973

97. “Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.” – Al (Rodney Dangerfield) CADDYSHACK 1980

98. “Your car is uglier than I am. Oops, that didn’t come out right.” – Carol (Mackenzie Phillips) AMERICAN GRAFFITI 1973

99. “You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.” – Kurtz (Marlon Brando) APOCALYPSE NOW 1979

100. “You see the whole culture. Nazis, deodorant salesmen, wrestlers, beauty contests, a talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers. Third grade con men telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak with Jesus, and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what’s going on in his name, he’d never stop throwing up.” – Frederick (Max Von Sydow) HANNAH AND HER SISTERS 1986

Take that AFI!

More later…

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